"This week was really interesting and probably one of the harder ones of my mission. I think I kind of freaked out because I only have 6 months left and I feel like I haven't learned enough yet and just haven't done enough good ... There is a part in my setting apart blessing that says at the end of my mission I will feel that I have served the Lord well, and for some reason those words just keep haunting me. I kept having these day dreams of me sitting on the plane feeling unfulfilled and then praying to know if I had served Him well and getting the answer of 'no'. It's just crazy because I felt great about my mission for the whole first year. I mean I had hard times and feelings of inadequacy, but this week was overwhelming. Hungarian was really hard this week probably because of all the doubts I was having. Sometimes I think Hungarian is part of the reason why I feel this way because I feel like I should speak and understand the language better. Anyways ... enough about all of that! I don't like thinking about it! Haha!"
|"Me with some graffiti."|
"It rained here the other day and was so cold that all the rain froze. The streets were kind of like ice skating rinks! The weather was so bad on Sunday that only ten members came to church and none of the teachers, so the second two hours got cancelled!!!! Okay, call me bad but I kind of thought it was cool! For a kid that never got to miss school or church because of a snow storm, this was the closest thing to one :) It was unfortunate though because I was supposed to teach Sunday School and I woke up at 5:30 to finish preparing and then no one was there to hear my lesson. I will get to teach next week so it is nice that everything is already prepared. Let me tell you one thing I have learned from my mission ... That everything is way less hard and scary in English! Hahaha! I think about teaching in English and how nervous I used to get, and then I think about now how I teach Sunday School in Hungarian and how it's like kind of scary. I just feel like teaching in English is the easiest thing ever now!"
"We went on splits on Wednesday. It was good, but hard too because I was still feeling down on myself, inadequate, and like I had to prove myself to the STL. We were in Pest and I really do love going to the city! I got to see a few of my elder friends, so that was fun! I went with Sister Chamberlain who I really like and we had a good time."
|Fresh Nővér and Chamberlain Nővér |
in Pest on splits.
"We shot a bow and arrows last p day... it was so fun :) We are going sledding after emailin, or more like icing actually since everything is frozen over. I don't know how safe that is but it will be fun :)"
"We had a children's English class this Saturday and it was the cutest thing ever ... I love all the Hungarian babies! Babies speaking Hungarian is my favorite thing ever!"
"Sister Sexton and I realized we are kindred spirits this week as we both felt kind of down about our progression but recommitted ourselves to be more positive, not get down on ourselves, and give it our all. I think we will have a better week :)"
"Other than that ... I found a quote from my quote book that is from DEB!!!! [my mom]:
"In trials, perspective makes all the difference. Concentrate on one step at a time, not the end result, that can frustrate you. You are much better than you think you are."
"That is really what I need to do, stop worrying about the end and just focus on working hard now, and if in the end I gave it my all then my answer will definitely be a 'YES'!"
"Well, I love you bunches and miss you, but not too much!"